In January 2006, IgneousQuill was born. It came in the aftermath of the worst year of my life thus far, the year I lost my father, quit full-time ministry and moved my family across country from New Mexico to New Jersey. In those difficult days, the original blog provided a means to sort out my thoughts and find my heart again. Over the years that blog shifted from personal to theological to technological in focus, and then broke into four blogs, each with a distinct subject area. For about a year or so I’ve been mulling over the future of the “brand,” if I dare call it that, and have finally decided to retire it.
The blogs bearing the IgneousQuill name will remain live online, at least for the foreseeable future, but will no longer be updated. I’m now blogging at “Missional Journeyman,” and invite you to join me there.
If you are a blogger and have me in your blogroll, please update the link.
With the passing of Steve Jobs, the world has lost a visionary leader in technology and business. As many have already commented, he was ahead of the curve and saw what we would want before we even thought about it.
The following is the video and text of Mr. Jobs’ 2005 Commencement address at Standford University. A lot of great thoughts here, but perhaps my favorite:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”- Steve Jobs
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.
This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
What is HOPE worldwide? Every so often I mention it on this blog, but perhaps you’ve never heard of it otherwise. consider this a brief introduction
To begin, here’s what the organization’s website says about its mission and vision:
Vision
HOPE worldwide’s vision is to bring hope and change the lives of the world’s most poor, sick and suffering.
Mission HOPE worldwide is an international charity that changes lives by harnessing the compassion and commitment of dedicated staff and volunteers to deliver sustainable, high-impact, community-based services to the poor and needy.
History HOPE worldwide was founded in response to the Scriptures, which call us to have the heart of Jesus by serving the poor and needy throughout the world. We began in 1991 with three small local programs. Today HOPE worldwide operates on every inhabited continent, serving more than one million people annually.
I know that the Lord maintains the cause of the needy, and executes justice for the poor.Psalm 140:12 NRSV
For a little history, check out this video:
Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin? Isaiah 58:6-7 NSRV
HOPE worldwide holds an annual “summit,” and this year marked the 20th anniversary. Have a look at the following video for more on that.
They asked only one thing, that we remember the poor, which was actually what I was eager to do. Galatians 2:10 NRSV
Finally, here’s a copy of the most recent annual report from HOPE worldwide.
A couple of years ago I read Greg Mortenson’s “Three Cups of Tea,” wherein his work in helping build and/or fund schools in central Asia is described. Throughout the book he talks only of helping children, making mo mention of gender other than where appropriate. So, it was disconcerting afterward to find constant references in his Central Asia Institute‘s promotional material to helping girls. In fact, the group’s mission statement includes the phrase “especially for girls.” Really? Girls especially or even exclusively?
Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn co-wrote “Half the Sky.” Admittedly, I have yet to read it. I’m certain I’ll enjoy it when I finally get to it. Still, it’s clearly about girls and women especially in connection with humanitarian work and international aid.
Here’s yet another video I came across recently that talks about helping girls especially:
So, what’s going on here?
Consider first, the negative, cynical view. It’s tough to raise money for non-profits, especially considering just how many non-profits there are out there. With so many organizations competing for funds, a good strategy is in order. If a non-profit talks about helping girls especially, somehow that opens wallets and purses. It’s politically correct, but also makes sense from a practical standpoint.
That brings me to the second, more positive outlook on this topic. Women tend to be more focused on taking care of their children and households. It’s sadly very true that throughout the world, men are more likely to take their earnings and blow it on wine, women and song (or the available local equivalents). Check out Kristof’s article: “Moonshine or the Kids?” for more on this problem. It’s a hotly debated idea, but I don’t have any argument. Sure, there are irresponsible, neglectful mothers, but there seem to be proportionally far more undependable men in circulation.
Despite all that, when I think about the sort of youth-focused, community development work that I dream of doing, engaging young people in social media and vocational tech training, I can’t imagine focusing only or primarily on girls. Boys and girls, men and women are made equally in the image of God. Both need to be reconciled to God, both have enormous potential for transformation to make a real, positive impact on their homes and society at large. It may make sense to at times have divided classes and activities, and most certainly it would make more sense for women to mentor girls and men to mentor boys, but at the end of the day, everyone ought to be included.
Or…am I way off? What do you think? I’m particularly interested in feedback from those engaged in non-profit work.
For several weeks now folks from the Central Jersey Church of Christ has been volunteering a little of their weekends to help clean up a building that belongs to the church in Perth Amboy, New Jersey. While there are multiple possibilities for this property, many dreams are centering around what the HOPE worldwide Central Jersey Chapter can do there. Aside from office space for the the chapter, this is a great location to host a Saturday Academy, aside from other events.
For anyone connected with Central Jersey Church of Christ (or any of the area Churches of Christ, for that matter), why not consider pitching in to help with cleaning, painting and other simple maintenance? With a little TLC we can make this into a place of encouragement and new horizons for area young people. And, like I mentioned above, we can dream other dreams as well for this place. Join in, take part, bring your skills or just your willingness to help.
Check out these pictures of our progress so far.
The building as it appears now from the street.
The basement is ready. It was professionally finished.
A group that renting the building left behind a decrepit stage. It's been taken down now.
Welcome to the jungle. This was how the enclosed back yard looked when we started working.
Some men from the church did the heavy work of cleaning out that back yard.
The yard now needs to be landscaped, once the debris is hauled off.
The back of the building looks run-down. It needs serious help. Any carpenters and painters out there?
There are a lot of little details that need some care, including this fence section that must be replaced.
Whether you have any special skills (carpentry, painting, interior decorating, landscaping) or not, your help is needed! We also need people to loan tools for these tasks. Boris is organizing this effort, so let him know how you can take part.
